We are Ishmael: Cricki Leaks captures its white whale

SLEEPING BEAUTY: Ryan Sinclair, fitting in some preparation before he goes out to bat.TO paraphrase perennial underachiever George Costanza – “we’re back baby, we’re back”.
Nanjing Night Net

Cricki Leaks will never apologise for anything – ask Ned Morrish, we provide a public service – but after an extended hiatus we do feel like we owe our fans an explanation.

Rumours were abound Orange cricket of a legend, drifting through Orange committing cricketing atrocities but always flying under Cricki Leaks’ radar.

Not anymore.

We searched, and we hunted.

While Cricki Leaks was absent from these pages he became our white whale – unable to be caught, and determinedly inscrutable.

He even took to boasting about his ability to remain out of Cricki Leaks’ watchful eye.

“They can’t get me, I’m untouchable,” he reportedly quipped to his teammates.

But after several long weeks, this desk succeeded where captain Ahab could not. We caught our white whale.

His name?

Ryan Thomas Sinclair.

There are few cardinal sins on, or on the sidelines of, a cricket field.

Wearing the wrong cap, shirt or pants is one, as is falling asleep at the ground or dropping a catch for a five for or a hat-trick – Sinclair’s committed all of them this season.

While sporting pants of pale fuschia after washing his whites with his lucky red pantaloons, the Laurie Daley look-a-like has become Orange City’s very own Sleeping Beauty.

In fact this desk is convinced Sinclair is completely nocturnal, so rarely is he sighted awake during the day.

Sinclair continuously channels his inner narcoleptic to fall asleep anywhere, and everywhere on the sidelines of Orange cricket fields, often asking to shift further down the batting order in a bid to catch some more zeds.

We’re fairly certain he also waits for the kiss of a Prince Charming – we hope it’s Mick Corby – to awaken him in time to bat.

But it was Sinclair’s most recent game where Cricki Leaks finally nailed its target.

After showing up to the ground wearing his old club’s shirt, and claiming “it doesn’t matter what shirt I wear, I’ll still take five wickets”, Sinclair regularly flouted skipper Shaun Churchill’s orders.

He did not bowl to his field, taking just one scalp, but then did the unthinkable. He dropped a catch on a hat-trick ball.

Showing all the tactical nous of a jellyfish Sinclair once again disobeyed his captain, who requested he stay where he was at square leg, instead deciding short leg was more appropriate for Paul Flitcroft’s hat-trick ball.

Naturally, the batsman clipped the ball off his pads straight through Sinclair’s splayed out hands before landing, you guessed it, in the exact spot Churchill requested he remained.

At this point we, you stand and applaud the one, the only, Ryan Thomas Sinclair.

This story Administrator ready to work first appeared on Nanjing Night Net.

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